Date of Birth: January 20, 1988
Birthplace: Philadelphia, PA
Neo-Name: Michael David Battle
Current City: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
First Testosterone Injection Date: August 12, 2011
My hope is that this website will be used to give all those connected to the transgender and transsexual community resources, a guide and a human to whom one can relate.
The first memory of feeling different and understanding that I was wrong for being different was around 22 months of age. My parents potty-trained me early, but I still required their assistance to the bathroom. One night, as much as I can remember, I went to the bathroom on my own. I was standing and peeing above my little toilet. The next thing I vaguely remember hearing was, “You don’t pee like that. You are a girl; boys pee like that.” I was left confused. Throughout the rest of my life, I continued to “come out” in different ways. I thought that I was a boy. When I was ten years old, I began to grow breasts. When I was told that I had to wear a training bra, I cried silently and my heart sunk. I prayed that God would let me wake up as a boy. As I got older, my breasts got larger and my prayers became louder and more frequent. I would cry myself to sleep at night; at times having anxiety attacks because I would get so overwhelmed by emotions. The anxiety attacks would bring about more tears and more frustration.
At the age of 15, I made the decision to come out to my family and friends as a lesbian. Life as a lesbian became harder and was difficult as I got older, learned more about who I really was and I began to feel like I was living a lie each day. In every relationship that I have had in the past, I felt pretentious and deceitful, as they did not know who I was. I never came out to any of my exes during our relationships. (I have fully disclosed and “come out” to everyone in my life since September 2009) I did come out to some of my closest friends in college, who laughed and said that I was only saying it because I had a crush on a straight girl. Although the reaction wasn’t harsh, it was enough to deter me from expressing my true feelings. I went through several more lesbian relations in college, which left me very unhappy.
When I met E.P., my partner, I was determined to not lie to her about my identity. For the first six months, I didn’t identify my orientation to her. E.P.identifies as a heterosexual woman, who comes from Estonia, where the population is mostly White, and has only been with natural-born men in the past. So, as you can imagine, I was very nervous to tell her about my identification. When I told E.P. that I was transgendered, she looked at me and said, “Was I supposed to be shocked by that information?” My mouth dropped and I could not believe that she was saying those words to me. It was then that I decided that I was going to tell everyone else in my life.
When I have chest reconstruction surgery, there will be more benefits that I can imagine.
For now, I know that I will feel like:
In the future, I intend to make a large impact on the transgender community. First, as a master’s level student studying public administration, my standard is to represent the Trans community. I plan to be an openly transsexual political figure. Since I was an early teenager I have been actively involved in the community as an activist, outspoken about minority rights and injustice. It is my belief that being open, honest and candid about who I am is the best way to impact any communities. As a political figure, once I am honest about who I am, i.e., a Black, transsexual man, it will open the minds of those around me. Most people that are fearful of other groups are fearful because they are ignorant. When humans decide to live openly, they are doing their part to open others to understanding. As I have come out to my friends, family, co-workers, classmates, professors, neighbors and those that I have come in contact, I have given them someone they can identify with and relate. Ignorant people become hateful people when their fear of the unknown is confirmed by perpetual ignorance.
Second, I will continue to volunteer and be an active member of civil organizations. As I become more familiar with local organizations focused on transgender/transsexual person’s issues, I will become more involved with those organizations.
Third, it is my goal to open a non-profit organization geared toward Trans youth. Trans youth go through a multitude of issues and often there is not much support for them. It is my goal to have a center that will serve as a support system. In addition, it is my goal to partner with organizations and resources that are already in place to make the Trans youth journey easier and resources more accessible.
Fourth, I will continue to educate others. E.P. is studying to be a mental health counselor and activism is expected to be a large part of her role. Through educating E.P., I have seen a huge transformation in beliefs and attitudes when she addresses GLBT issues and concerns. By educating her, I have subsequently educated those that she will touch through her activism and practice. Now, E.P. is considering working with the GLBT community in her practice. I strongly believe in the power of numbers. If I can touch just 50 people and those 50 people educate one person, my effect has been doubled. I have been given the ability to educate many people by one conversation at a time.
Birthplace: Philadelphia, PA
Neo-Name: Michael David Battle
Current City: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
First Testosterone Injection Date: August 12, 2011
My hope is that this website will be used to give all those connected to the transgender and transsexual community resources, a guide and a human to whom one can relate.
The first memory of feeling different and understanding that I was wrong for being different was around 22 months of age. My parents potty-trained me early, but I still required their assistance to the bathroom. One night, as much as I can remember, I went to the bathroom on my own. I was standing and peeing above my little toilet. The next thing I vaguely remember hearing was, “You don’t pee like that. You are a girl; boys pee like that.” I was left confused. Throughout the rest of my life, I continued to “come out” in different ways. I thought that I was a boy. When I was ten years old, I began to grow breasts. When I was told that I had to wear a training bra, I cried silently and my heart sunk. I prayed that God would let me wake up as a boy. As I got older, my breasts got larger and my prayers became louder and more frequent. I would cry myself to sleep at night; at times having anxiety attacks because I would get so overwhelmed by emotions. The anxiety attacks would bring about more tears and more frustration.
At the age of 15, I made the decision to come out to my family and friends as a lesbian. Life as a lesbian became harder and was difficult as I got older, learned more about who I really was and I began to feel like I was living a lie each day. In every relationship that I have had in the past, I felt pretentious and deceitful, as they did not know who I was. I never came out to any of my exes during our relationships. (I have fully disclosed and “come out” to everyone in my life since September 2009) I did come out to some of my closest friends in college, who laughed and said that I was only saying it because I had a crush on a straight girl. Although the reaction wasn’t harsh, it was enough to deter me from expressing my true feelings. I went through several more lesbian relations in college, which left me very unhappy.
When I met E.P., my partner, I was determined to not lie to her about my identity. For the first six months, I didn’t identify my orientation to her. E.P.identifies as a heterosexual woman, who comes from Estonia, where the population is mostly White, and has only been with natural-born men in the past. So, as you can imagine, I was very nervous to tell her about my identification. When I told E.P. that I was transgendered, she looked at me and said, “Was I supposed to be shocked by that information?” My mouth dropped and I could not believe that she was saying those words to me. It was then that I decided that I was going to tell everyone else in my life.
When I have chest reconstruction surgery, there will be more benefits that I can imagine.
For now, I know that I will feel like:
- I am not living a lie
- My body and mind match
- I am happy with my body
- I am more confident
- I am whole
- My friends and family see a physical manifestation of the person they know and love
- Finally, have the body that I prayed for my whole life
- I have the body that belongs to me
In the future, I intend to make a large impact on the transgender community. First, as a master’s level student studying public administration, my standard is to represent the Trans community. I plan to be an openly transsexual political figure. Since I was an early teenager I have been actively involved in the community as an activist, outspoken about minority rights and injustice. It is my belief that being open, honest and candid about who I am is the best way to impact any communities. As a political figure, once I am honest about who I am, i.e., a Black, transsexual man, it will open the minds of those around me. Most people that are fearful of other groups are fearful because they are ignorant. When humans decide to live openly, they are doing their part to open others to understanding. As I have come out to my friends, family, co-workers, classmates, professors, neighbors and those that I have come in contact, I have given them someone they can identify with and relate. Ignorant people become hateful people when their fear of the unknown is confirmed by perpetual ignorance.
Second, I will continue to volunteer and be an active member of civil organizations. As I become more familiar with local organizations focused on transgender/transsexual person’s issues, I will become more involved with those organizations.
Third, it is my goal to open a non-profit organization geared toward Trans youth. Trans youth go through a multitude of issues and often there is not much support for them. It is my goal to have a center that will serve as a support system. In addition, it is my goal to partner with organizations and resources that are already in place to make the Trans youth journey easier and resources more accessible.
Fourth, I will continue to educate others. E.P. is studying to be a mental health counselor and activism is expected to be a large part of her role. Through educating E.P., I have seen a huge transformation in beliefs and attitudes when she addresses GLBT issues and concerns. By educating her, I have subsequently educated those that she will touch through her activism and practice. Now, E.P. is considering working with the GLBT community in her practice. I strongly believe in the power of numbers. If I can touch just 50 people and those 50 people educate one person, my effect has been doubled. I have been given the ability to educate many people by one conversation at a time.
